


An Uninvited Visit to the Fatherly Frog

by BubblySunshine



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Depressive States, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Janus and Patton bond over a mutual appreciation for puns, Janus is King of Self Care, Janus loves some good ole philosophy, M/M, Patton appreciates art woo hoo, Post-Episode: Selfishness v. Selflessness, Self Care, Sorry for the poor quality, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Patton Sanders, another one shot slow burn, gosh what am I doing in my life, he has a list of musical theater puns centered around lies like a cutie dork, i really wanted to see this, just a few references, not a lot, oof, oops forgot to say minor frog Patton content, post-episode: Putting Others First, talking about feelings, write the things you want to see in the world, you bet he has the best ideas on what types of self care the sides would need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblySunshine/pseuds/BubblySunshine
Summary: After the newest open discussion, every side in the mind palace is feeling a lot. Considering one of them is an empathetic pal who’s in the middle of a mental crisis, it’s a rough time. Janus, in a hesitant manner, tries to help our favorite Father Figment feel a bit more grounded and less... froglike.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Implied past anxceit - Relationship, Lowkey background Prinxiety, Moceit
Comments: 13
Kudos: 114





	An Uninvited Visit to the Fatherly Frog

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I wrote this so my theories and obsessions with the newest episode could go away. OCD is a jerk tbh. I am obsessed with Moceit and it’s a problem. Hope someone enjoys this. Because I’m a bit rusty in writing short stoires, I’ve been writing lots of poems though. Can you tell I like writing Patton too much? Because I do. Whoops. I hope this isn’t too out of character or too similar to my last fic. I just like open and honest communication that involves Patton. Yeeeeeee.

All in all, Janus had to admit that Patton was right, a little bit of good came from what he had done today.

He had been attempting to organize his moderately sized collection of obscure philosophy from the scam self help books in his room when the thought came to him. _Yes, there was some harm done, but some excellent steps forward. I could have been right about what I did._

The biggest step was Thomas lending him a serious ear, and understanding the truth about self care. He had even practiced some self care. He had played some actual video games (Animal Crossing New Horizons, a truly _disgusting_ little game), and eaten some food with sustenance before falling asleep. And, of course, it didn’t hurt to be told he was right for once.

Then again, Thomas most likely wouldn’t have had his change of heart without what help Janus had from Logan in persuasion. He made a mental note to himself to reach out to Logan and thank him for the advice and consent to impersonate him. Janus hoped he was okay. Logan had seemed... upset when he returned in lowdown form, but tried to hide it away from the others. It was clear he was unused to something like that.

Of course, Roman hadn’t looked very cheerful at the end of their little discussion either. He might have realized that he went too far with some of his remarks, but then again, so did Janus. But, he tried to brush that thought away. _Roman must have been used to that sort of talk,_ he rasinalized. A complement here, an insult there, especially from Remus. _He would be okay_. Even if he wasn’t at the moment, Janus was sure that the music and ocestrations from Hunchback of Notre Dame that started up about an hour ago were coming from Virgil’s room. Virgil didn’t watch Disney films without headphones unless Roman insisted on it. He was most likely getting cuddles at the very moment of reflection.

That left Patton. Janus winced at the memory. There was a lot that Patton needed to sort out at the moment. He had tried to help make things a bit clearer, and he believed he got the message across. He stuck to what he wanted to say to point out the flaws in Patton’s thinking and rasonal, but Patton seemed the most distressed by his words.

His train of thought came of a sudden jolt when Janus thought he heard something outside his bedroom door. It was pretty late at night, it could have been one of Logan’s experiments or a new Lovecraftian abomination Remus had dragged in from imagination, maybe even a comment from the late night movie session. But he hasn't heard anything from the other’s rooms since the Disney music. Anyway, this was a softer noise. A sound that had been muffled by something or someone else. There it was again. Janus could have been hearing things, but it sounded distinctly like a sniffle. He set down his copy of _Critique of Pure Reason_ on his shelf, tidied his cloak and gloves, and walked downstairs.

The living room seemed currently abandoned, film equipment and tripods still in their places. However, the kitchen seemed to have been recently invaded. Cupboards had been thrown open and left a bit askew. There was something sitting on the counter. Janus picked it up. It was a blue tupperware lid, with a markered on note, “Patton’s Stash of Dangerous Second Cookies. Don’t eat without permission. That includes you, V.” He had drawn a smiley face beside the message, along with a simple doodle of what he guessed was a dog. Or it could have been a cat, it was hard to tell.

What was for sure was that the sight of the lid was a pleasant but worrying sight. Janus, besides his better instincts, found what glimpses of Patton's art skills simply _horrid_. Yet Patton had always been a stickler for no food permitted in the bedrooms, despite the fact that everyone in the house was adults and had no permanence in reality, as they were for all intents and purposes, imaginary. The fact that only the lid was here of Patton’s stash of cookies saved for bad days was left in the kitchen, without the cookies that went along with them meant that it was Patton who had made the noise. And that there was a chance we was still experiencing heightened levels of emotions.

Janus set the lid down to the counter, pondering. He could go to help Patton, but would Patton be willing to listen? As much as Patton had eventually appreciated his input on the most recent conversation, there was a chance that in an upset state he wouldn’t want to talk. But, there was also a chance he needed someone to talk to, someone to work things with. And he was willing to be that person, as flawed as it could be perceived. He rushed back to his room, scanning for anything that could be of help. There was his bookshelf, his theater masks, his forgery of the painting that hung in Thomas’s apartment, empty herbal tea mugs… nothing was standing out. Then he spotted a box of tissues by his bedside. Those might at least give a bit of support. He grasped them, left the room, and rushed into the hallway towards Patton’s door.

It was easy to distinguish from the rest, from the painted stars and people and puppies spread across the surface. He lifted a gloved hand and rapped twice on the door. There was another soft sound, something like a stifled sob. He waited another moment or two.

“Patton? Do you need any help?”

This time, when a sound came, it was clearer. “Come in.”

He took a steadying breath, then turned the knob.

As he took his first step over the threshold, he was flooded with the sheer amount of memories stored in Patton’s room. The shimily iridescence of his room was still there, but diminished. Like the owner of this room. Patton sat in fetal position on his bed, still dressed in his classic blue collared shirt, cargo pants, and cardigan from earlier today, but they were crumpled and creased. His hair was a mess, as if hands had run through it so many times in desperation to grasp hold of reality. He was clutching a stuffed animal tightly to his chest. The animal's fur was spotted and wet with what Janus could only assume were tears. The bottom half of his tupperware sat beside him, an unfinished chocolate chip cookie sitting on the top of the remaining, but lessened pile. The most worrying detail of the entire scenario was Patton’s face, as crumpled as his clothes. His cheeks were puffy and pink. He looked up from his fuzzy pet to meet Janus’ eyes. He tiredly raised a hand in a small wave.

Janus took that as an invitation, so he stepped further into the room.

He coughed, unsure where to start. He remembered the box in his hands. “I thought you could use these. _There’s certainly a hidden agenda in the box, you should start worrying,”_ he set the box on the bed, within reach of Patton.

He lethargically reached for a tissue and began to brush the fresh tears from his eyes. “Thanks,” he murmured.

“Um. Are you quite alright?” The phrase came from his lips before he had the forethought to stop it. “ _Of course you are, this was the perfect way to phrase that. I’m not sorry at all.”_

Patton looked up from his second tissue with a small, pasted-on smile. “You know, you don’t have to lie while you’re here, Janus.”

Janus couldn’t explain the way it felt to hear Patton say his real name with full sincerity. He imagined it was akin to what Thomas’ friends, Joan and Talyn felt when they were addressed by their names. “I appreciate that. The same goes for you as well.” He looked pointedly at Patton’s face.

He watched the smile fade into true feelings, and nodded at the change. “Would you like me to stay? I could go if you’d like.”

“No!” Patton looked up, realized how loud his protest was, then cleared his throat. “If… if you’d like to stay, I’d like that. I don’t… don’t want to be alone right now.”

 _Well. There was much more progress from today than I noticed._ He brushed that aside, _this was about helping Patton._

“Do you mind if I sit?” Patton only nodded, so he tentatively sat down on the edge of the bed before continuing, “I am unsure of what coping mechanism would serve you best at this moment, but I could lend you a few ideas if that would help. Perhaps you could use them?”

Patton let out a watery croak, “Yeah, if you don’t mind, ” before burying his face behind another tissue.

 _Alright_. He would have to recall some of the advice and questions from his books and time helping Virgil, but he could admit this really was a simpler task than starting a proper, and possibly dangerous conversation. “I suppose, if it seems as if it would help, you could start with getting what predicaments or emotions that are particularly troublesome off your chest. Or if that idea isn’t appealing, we could start with a simple grounding distraction.”

“Gosh, Jan. You really know your stuff, sure enough. ” The smallest bit of Patton’s lighthearted attitude came back in a flash. Janus supposed that old habits die hard, and let it slide.

“Well. I could start with just talking. I guess there’s a lot. I… I just don’t feel I can properly deal with these emotions. There are so many of them, it’s like I’ve been encouraging repression not only for some of… Remus’ little ideas, but anything unwanted or hurtful. I just feel bad, and we don’t need another side feeling sad at the moment. Roman seemed to feel really hopeless after… what happened today. He let me into his room, but not for very long. He wasn’t convinced on how essential he is to all of us.”

Janus saw his shoulders shaking slightly, as if the thoughts of the others in pain weighed down his back. “Logan barely talked to me at dinner, it’s like he didn’t want anything to do with me. Virge wouldn’t answer my knocks on his door, he didn’t come out to eat anything at all. I have no clue how he’s been feeling, but it must be something big and heavy, I think I feel it at times. I really only start feeling his anxiety when out of his control and he has a lot more control than you’d think. And Remus-“ he instinctively curled a bit tighter around his stuffed protector. “I have no clue how to help him, what he needs, if he’d actually need or wants my help, or how he would react with me showing up uninvited in his room.”

Janus was fully aware of how responsible and guilty Patton must have felt for everyone. He hoped to talk about that, but wanted to wait until Patton was done with his thought. “Remus _loathes_ the idea of being where he is not wanted, I’m sure it wouldn’t be so bad if he got a taste of his own medicine.”

He sighed, weighty and heavy. “I suppose. But I wouldn’t want him to be afraid, especially after, well, how I’ve acted around him in the past.” His voice already had a quaver, but it seemed to be getting worse. “And I don’t even know if I would… I mean, if I’d be able to help him.” His eyes were overflowing, his nose scrunched. “I mean, it seems like everyone is upset or closed off. This is the worst time for me to be feeling this way, but I am. And I’ve been trying to stop feeling, but nothings working. I just can’t-“ His voice broke, he bundled himself in a tighter ball. His stuffed companion came close to his mouth, muffling any sobs.

Janus stared. He couldn’t help it, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen Patton this sad before. And there was something new to his appreance. Something... different. Janus spotted it instantly. The right side of Patton’s face was now blotchy and green. It seemed to be spreading with how upset Patton was becoming. _Well. It would be a very bad timing for him to notice that in himself._ Janus found himself fiddling with the fingers of his gloves. Next thing he knew, he was setting them aside and holding his hands out in a simple placating gesture. “Patton, would you-” He heard himself starting to stutter, and stopped himself, “You look like you could use a hug. Do you-“

He found himself caught in Patton’s desperate embrace, stuffed animal and all. He tried to hug back, hoping the scales on his face and hands wouldn’t be a startling sensation for the other. With his right hand, he spun awkward circles on Patton’s back, hoping against hope it would be a soothing motion. “It’s really going to be okay. The others’ feelings are not your responsibility. You can help, but you’re allowed to feel what you feel.”

“What did I say about lying here?” Janus couldn’t see Patton’s face, but he could hear the futile attempt at a joke.

“But it really is true.” He opened his mouth to continue, but Patton pulled away to look at Janus, brows furrowed.

Janus wasn’t sure why he immediately missed the warmth of the hug. Patton was tightly wringing his hands, slouching down over himself. “Lying.” He whispered. Janus watched as another tear trickled down his distinctly darker cheek. He raised his hand to brush it away, but Patton avoided it. “That’s it! Nothing will stop the sadness, so I just… I need to go back to Happy Pappy Patton. I need to…” His eyes locked onto Janus’s with such a stark determination, it was a bit chilling. “I need you to teach me how I can lie. Just until I feel better. I’ve done it before, I need to be okay for everyone. If I’m not…”

He tentatively placed a hand over Patton’s hurried motions. “Patton, as much as I would approve of further fabrications, I believe you know better for yourself. The others will be okay. Yes, they do depend on you, but hiding what you’re feeling for the benefit of others is the opposite of self care. I said it to Thomas, but it applies to you all the same. Take time for yourself.” At the sight of downcast eyes and a shaking head, Janus continued, “You deserve it. You lying about your feelings wouldn’t help anyone at all.”

He cut Janus off, breaths growing erratic, “Thomas may deserve it, but I don’t. I’ve been a big part of the problem! I’ve been making it harder for him to think without feeling bad for his thoughts. I haven’t been the clear voice of morality that he deserves, I-“

“Patton. Can you do something for me?” _Please don’t worry about your face, please don’t notice, please stay here._ In between frantic gasps, he nodded. “I need you to sit up straight as you can, and take some deep breaths with me, okay? You might not feel like it, but sometimes it helps.” He adjusted himself, and started a deep inhale. Patton seemed clearly uncomfortable with the idea, but he started as well, his first attempts at deep breaths coming jaggedly. “There you go. Keep going like that. Try to make the exhale a bit longer.” He found himself winding his fingers with Patton’s, in the desires for it to help. He couldn’t help but notice how they felt soft and sticky between his own.

After a time, he could see that it seemed to be working, the better posture, the longer breaths. Patton’s cheeks were still wet, but he had stopped crying. _Miraculously,_ his face had returned to its usual pigment, without a hint of a froglike transformation. “How do you feel now?”

“A bit… better I guess? Still not great, but not as bad as before.”

“Any progress is good in this situation. I’m glad it’s better.” Janus couldn’t hold back a smile with a bit of relief. _I can’t believe I was able to help._

Patton’s breath hitched for a moment. “I am really sorry Janus. I didn’t mean to take things too far for Thomas, or to make you come in here and-“

“You did not make me come here, I am here of my own accord. And I would like to help. I think I could forgive you. I believe you’re coming from a good place and that you are willing to move forward with the new information in mind…” He paused, conceding with himself that after all his earlier talk of apologies, he could give one back. “I feel I must apologize as well. I was blunt and direct, which was needed, but it did seem to hurt you.”

“No, it’s alright. You did what you thought was right. It did hurt and confuse me, but I forgive you. It… it might be good to think about wording things differently in the future, but I’ll be alright…” Patton seemed lost in his spiraling thoughts. He looked up, eyes shining again. “I think I’ll be okay. But are you alright?”

Janus blinked, not sure if he heard him correctly. “What?”

“Are _you_ alright? From all the things Roman said? I mean, I’m still conflicted, but he was really upset at you. It was brave of you to tell us your name. I disagree with Roman, it’s a very nice name.” He was back to hugging himself, but it was less desprete, more hopeful. 

That was also nice to hear, after a long day. “Yes, I think I’m alright. I know now what he said was in self defense. But I could apologize to him as well. What I said was… out of line. I suppose I could make it up to him with a team self care activity. I could do that with everyone. Heaven knows everyone in the mindspace could use a bit.”

Patton cocked his head, “How so?” “Well. I have some ideas.”

He thought back to what he had written and gathered about the other sides, if he ever needed to use that for or against them. “For instance, you appreciate baking, don’t you? And you’ll need some more after tonight?” He gestured to the cookie dish, with less cookies than before.

He sniffled, but it sounded like a quiet snort of humor. “Yeah, I suppose I do.” “Well, for our activity, I would suggest baking cookies. And I would volunteer to listen to some of your favorite memories and jokes. For Logan, I could ask him to engage me in a friendly debate, perhaps about the quality of a certain jelly brand over another. I think he’d enjoy telling me why Crofters is far superior than anything, especially Sumckers. Virgil…” the name died in his throat. He cleared it in what he hoped wasn’t an odd way, and continued. “Well, Virgil appreciated having someone to experiment intense makeup looks on, especially since working around my scales seemed like a challenge he liked to take. If it looked awful, it only affected my appearance, after all. And he used to like reciting his own poetry.”

“Poetry? Virgil writes poetry? I thought he didn’t like Thomas’ old poetry.”

Janus nodded, trying to clarify, “He used to, sometimes. He claimed his work wasn’t very good so he wasn’t up for sharing it too often. He also wanted to avoid Roman’s ridicule from his writings, but there’s a chance that isn’t the case any more. That was a while back, after all.”

“You have so many cool ideas Janus!” He couldn’t help but notice Patton’s nature enthusiasm seeping through the cracks of his emotional state. It was infectious. “And what would you do with Roman and Remus?”

He paused again to collect his thoughts, then continued, “I suppose they would want to do something overly extra and emotional. They’d most likely want my help performing a musical in its entirety in imagination. Perhaps something that helps them process emotions, so maybe a couple songs from something like _Lies and_ _Dolls_ , followed up by _Betting_ - _juice_ , or even _Fables Christ Super-_ What’s so funny?”

Patton was doubled over, hands over his mouth. He tried to say something, but was cut off by another round of giggles. “Are you alright?”

He regained control of his laughter-filled breath again to cry out, “Sorry… it’s just… _Lies and Dolls?_ Was that a pun?” 

“Ahh. Yessss.” The pun inspired names of the musicals had come without him noticing it at all.

“That’s wonderful! Do you have other musical theatre puns? Wait, what did you do to Aladdin? A...a- A-lie-dian? What could you do to _Dear_ _Evan_ _Hansen_?”

He raised a single eyebrow. “I don’t need to do anything to _Dear_ _Evan_ _Hansen_ with all the Deceit involved in that story.”

Another happy burst of giggles, followed by a simple plea. “Can I hear more? Do you have more? ” “Shouldn’t you be looking for ways to relax Thomas? So you can be chipper dipper… or was it happy pappy? I can’t recall.”

“The only thing that could make me more chipper for tomorrow more than your puns is maybe some guacamole! Or I could have some of that alongside with your word play. Oh! I’d love to have some cheesy queso punssssssssss to help me be chipper.” Patton drew out the “s” is a hissing sort of way.

Janus had to admit to himself, this wasn’t what he thought would help Patton most. Especially with his habit of hiding behind jokes to cope, but that could come later. Helping Patton maintain a calmer attitude could be a good step in the right direction. “Perhaps that would be good. I have a few of my favorites in a small book. But I believe you could use more comfortable clothes for a bit of self kindness. Perhaps your onesie? Yours is of a cat, is it not?” He asked, but Janus already knew the response that would come. Patton had worn his onesie with pride in his downtime. It was sweet he still held onto the comfy piece of clothing. He could barely remember all of the details of when King Creativity, with the help of Patton, had chosen to make a onesie for everybody to wear inside the mind palace. It had been so long ago.

“It certainly is. I suppose I could put mine on. And you could put on yours!”

“Oh, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, Patton. I don’t have my onesie anymore. I must have lost it. I’ve looked and looked.” He hoped this wouldn’t be too much of a disappointment to Patton at this time. 

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m sure I have it.” Patton got to his feet, tucked his tissues in the trash, and padded over to the closet in the corner.

“You… you still have it?”

“Of course, I hold onto anything Thomas treasures, that means I hold onto anything any of us has treasured too!” Patton was in the process of setting aside photo albums and such to get to the back of the closet.

Janus got the courage to speak up again as Patton placed a simple blue box aside, “But why? Why would you hold onto anything that I… that any of us used to treasure?”

“Well, with Logan and Roman, it came easily. Old calculators and rusty swords needed a home, so I made theirs out of necessity. But for you? For the others? To be honest, it started with Virgil.”

As if on cue, Patton had managed to grasp a purple shoe box that had somehow been tangled in an old graduation gown. Patton handed it to Janus, and he stared at the box. It was painted a dark purple, with his name in messy script and a stormcloud. “Virgil started to grow on me and Thomas. He seemed to have a sensitive protective side, and it made me happy. I started to notice and seek out some of his things in case he ever needed them again. I guess I held onto the hope that things could be… like they used to be.”

Janus was well aware of what he meant. How things used to be. When things were easier, where the lines between what was deemed light or dark were less severe… “When all of us were friends,” he murmured.

“Yes! And then Thomas accepted Virgil as a part of him. And I was happy for him to be there. And… I dunno. I suppose I held onto the hope that one day, all of Thomas would be okay. As much as it felt strange, as much as I was confused. I mean, if Anxiety can be accepted, what else is possible?” He gasped, crawled out of his chaotic closet, and approached Janus with full hands. “I found yours!”

The treasure chest that Patton held out toward him seemed homemade, one would call rudimentary, but it was absolutely amazing. It was painted a golden yellow, with subtle black swirled accents. The top was decorated with his two headed snake design. It was nearly identical to the version hidden under his cape, but it seemed that Patton had gotten over excited about their tongues, and accidentally made them longer than the original. The word “Deceit” was just beside the snakes. “Oh shoot!” Patton brought the chest back to scan the top. “Could you hand me a marker? There are some on the desk.”

Janus turned, scanning the surface Patton had referred to. He thought he saw a sharpie or two in a “World’s Best Dad” mug, along with some broken crayons and paint bushes. He got one, and brought it back. Patton uncapped it with his teeth, crossed out the title, and wrote “Janus” beside it. “Gosh, it’s a bit messy. I’ll ask Roman if I can borrow his paints tomorrow so I can make it nicer. Here you go!”

“I… I really do appreciate that, Patton. Thank you.” He cautiously lifted the lid. There was a collection of an assortment of things in the box. Friendship bracelets, old masks he had tried to use to cover his scales when they first started growing, notebooks and torn gloves, but the biggest and most noteworthy of them all was a onesie. A light green, designed as a snake. “Do… do you think it still fits?” Janus’ voice came quietly, as if not to dispel the magic of the moment.

“I mean, it was made with pure imagination, it should. Mine still fits! Only one way to find out, right?”

Janus’ smile came. “You’re right about that. I’ll go to my room to try it on and get my theatrical pun book. You could change and meet me in the commons, does that sound suitable?”

Patton grinned back, setting the box aside. “As suitable and formal as a pair of pajama wearing pals making puns can be!”

Then came his laugh. Without a figment of fabrication. Janus could see Patton trying to hide his shock from the outburst, but chose to ignore it. “See you soon.” Janus made his way towards the door.

He looked back to see a wavinghand, an enthusiastic grin. “See you soon!”

He strolled towards his room, his thoughts in a positive whirl. There was no denying or falsifying. There really was some wonderful work done today.

_And I can’t wait to see what’s just around the corner._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I actually finished and published this! I’ve been working on this... basically since the new episode was posted. Thanks for reading, hope you’re well. Take care of yourself, Janus Sanders said so. Don’t let him down, my dude.


End file.
